C'mon Folks!!!

[GrayBeard]

With over 1,000 members I surely can't be the only one who gets 'funnies' in my mail!

If you get a story that you think everyone will enjoy please put it here!

We ALL need a chuckle, giggle or a hearty belly laugh every now and then.

Laughter really IS the best medicine.
Medically proven that merriment relieves stress and lowers blood pressure! (honest)

When you're laughing you can't be hurtin'!

~~~GrayBeard~~~

[cherie]

I can only be a smarty pants, not very good at jokes, but when i do get them i do share.

[Dragonlord85]

Las Vegas Churches accept gambling chips

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN
LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.
SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS..

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.




THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.

[GrayBeard]

Chip Monks???

Oldie and Goodie!!!

[Rightarm]

    Thats really funny. Dave

[dgman]

Saw that one coming!
GreyBread, you guys are the only Friends I have, So I have to rely on you all for my comedy relief.

[GrayBeard]

dgman....
if I make one person in the world smile and relax for a moment because my poor ol' brain remembered a funny story and I tell it then I consider my day worthwhile.

I often get funny reactions because I walk around with a half-grin on my face most of the time and say hello to total strangers and especially little children.

One of the things my dad harped on when he was living was the statement, "It doesn't cost you a D&%$ thing to be PLEASANT and you will be amazed at what happens when you are!"

And the older I get the smarter I find he really was.

Hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[chief]

Most of my jokes are rated atleast X.  The clean ones I cant remember.
GrayBeard all your jokes make me laugh.  My wife keeps getting tired of me reading them to her though, shes just a grouch.

[Dawie]

Here's one I'm translating as I go so hope it works out. There's this zebra with an identity crisis he asks himself the question " am I a white horse with black stripes, or am I a black horse with white stripes" He decides to go to the lion as he is the king and should know. so he asks his question. The lion thinks but has no answer and sends him to the elephant as the elephant has a big head and good memory. But alas the elephant does not have the answer, but sends him to the owl, as the owl is considered the wisest. He says to the owl"Am I a white horse with black stripes or a black horse with white stripes" "That's easy" says the owl "you're a white horse with black stripes" "why you so sure? " asks the zebra. "well"says the owl "if you were a black horse with white stripes you would have come rapping and saying hey man am I a white horse with black stripes my man or a black horse with white stripes, tell me man."
David

[GrayBeard]

OK...ZEBRA!!!

Farmer decides to introduce something new to his pasture so he acquires a fine Zebra from a travelling circus.
Once in the farmyard the Zebra wanders around and sees a chicken and asks, What are you and what do you do here?"
Chicken tells him, I am a chicken and I lay eggs for the farmer to eat."
Next he spies the pig and asks, What are you and what do you do here?"
Pig replies, "I am the pig and I provide the farmer with meat when I pass on!"
And so it goes for the whole day with the Zebra learning all about his new home.
Finally he spies the farmer's prize Angus bull and trots up and asks, What are you and what do you do here?"
Somewhat miffed at not being recognized for his important status the bull huffs, "I am the BULL and if you get rid of those silly pajamas you'll find out what I do here!"

<rimshot>

~~~GrayBeard~~~

[Judy Hunter]

We raise Angus...and that was FUNNY!!!

[GrayBeard]

Glad you thought so...hope some don't find it too 'risque' but we are all adults here right?

[Vince]

    I'm using the "Peter Pan" theory....."I wont grow up". Seems as you get older it happens any way LOL

Vince

[GrayBeard]

Sign taped to my dresser mirror...

Growing Older ~~ Mandatory
Growing UP ~~ OPTIONAL!

~~~GrayBeard~~~

[Judy Hunter]

What made it a special story was that right after reading the forum I had to go help work
getting 120+ head worked and ready for pasture. So it helped make me smile when I was wading in cow poop