Author Topic: Georgia Grandma In Court  (Read 2257 times)

Offline Russ C

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Global Moderator
  • Posts: 8458
  • Central Florida - USA
    • View Profile
Georgia Grandma In Court
« on: May 20, 2014, 06:12:28 am »
COFFEE WARNING :.. :o  :o  :o

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.
russ@simplywoodencreations.com

Keep The Blade On The Line.

thumbs

  • Guest
Re: Georgia Grandma In Court
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2014, 06:27:41 am »
good one, Russ--I'll use it--thanks for the smile--Richard

Offline newfie

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5037
  • The Way I Scroll
    • View Profile
    • some of my woodworking
Re: Georgia Grandma In Court
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2014, 06:36:13 am »
LOL good one, Russ


excalibur 21
Every woodworker needs a fireplace

Offline Joleet

  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 410
    • View Profile
Re: Georgia Grandma In Court
« Reply #3 on: May 20, 2014, 10:02:43 am »
Well.... we all are taught not to lie.....right?
Ron... Twin Falls, Idaho

Me Slow?  I get up in the morning with nothing to do and go to bed at night with half of it done!

Offline EIEIO

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2147
  • Be Prepared.
    • View Profile
    • RMHayes, LLC
Re: Georgia Grandma In Court
« Reply #4 on: May 20, 2014, 10:32:00 am »
Sounds like my 6th grade teacher, Sr. Mary Elephant.
EX-21 arrived 2-1-2013!
Porter-Cable PCB370SS in the corner
Lancaster Ohio
Ray Hayes - RMHayes@RMHayes.US
www.RMHayes.US

Offline Dakota Saw Dust

  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 319
  • Sioux Falls, South Dakota, USA
    • View Profile
Re: Georgia Grandma In Court
« Reply #5 on: May 20, 2014, 01:38:53 pm »
The good news & the bad.  Good joke - but it sounds too much like our current politicians :-[.

rob roy

  • Guest
Re: Georgia Grandma In Court
« Reply #6 on: May 20, 2014, 04:49:34 pm »
Superb Russ. Thanks for the coffee warning. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Rob Roy.

Offline wombatie

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5557
  • Victoria Australia
    • View Profile
Re: Georgia Grandma In Court
« Reply #7 on: May 21, 2014, 02:35:10 am »
 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D  Good one Russ.

Marg
MARG

No one notices what I do until I'm not here to do it............

Offline Keefie

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 4550
    • View Profile
Re: Georgia Grandma In Court
« Reply #8 on: May 21, 2014, 10:15:03 am »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Loved it Russ, had to share it on FB
It's all a case of "Mind over Matter",  The Government don't Mind, and I don't Matter.

Offline EIEIO

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2147
  • Be Prepared.
    • View Profile
    • RMHayes, LLC
Broken site?
« Reply #9 on: May 22, 2014, 10:46:47 am »
Russ - sorry to get to you from here but the navigation buttons on the forum have disappeared on my Chrome browser. Is this just me or is everyone having this issue? RMHayes@RMHayes.US
EX-21 arrived 2-1-2013!
Porter-Cable PCB370SS in the corner
Lancaster Ohio
Ray Hayes - RMHayes@RMHayes.US
www.RMHayes.US

Offline DWSudekum

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 3677
    • View Profile
    • The DW Collection
Re: Broken site?
« Reply #10 on: May 22, 2014, 11:17:12 am »
Russ - sorry to get to you from here but the navigation buttons on the forum have disappeared on my Chrome browser. Is this just me or is everyone having this issue? RMHayes@RMHayes.US

Russ I too am having this issue... it is with both Chrome and IE for me.

DW
Life is tough, it is even tougher if you are stupid  -  John Wayne

countryscroller

  • Guest
Re: Georgia Grandma In Court
« Reply #11 on: May 22, 2014, 11:18:20 am »
I have the same issue on Chrome and Firefox, so I assume it is just some glitches that Steve his working out. You can still post and what not.

Offline Russ C

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Global Moderator
  • Posts: 8458
  • Central Florida - USA
    • View Profile
Re: Georgia Grandma In Court
« Reply #12 on: May 22, 2014, 12:29:58 pm »
Steve is aware and working on the problem. 
russ@simplywoodencreations.com

Keep The Blade On The Line.

Offline cdrover(Clyde)

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1641
    • View Profile
Re: Georgia Grandma In Court
« Reply #13 on: May 22, 2014, 08:11:24 pm »
good one, thanks for the laugh ;D ;D
What are we here for but to help others. (Author unknown)
Clyde

 

SMF

Teknoromi