Author Topic: Your Duck is Dead--  (Read 1210 times)

Offline mickey357

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 692
    • View Profile
Your Duck is Dead--
« on: January 05, 2013, 12:41:34 pm »
Your Duck is Dead--

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's
chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and
sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean
you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
room. He returned a few minutes later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the
vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out
of the room. A few minutes later he returned with
a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back
on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,
but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,
a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"
she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my
word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."


 


 
 
 
 
 
 
 

king310

  • Guest
Re: Your Duck is Dead--
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2013, 01:01:16 pm »
roflmao   :D :D :D ;D ;D ;D :o :o :o ;D
that was a good one

Offline newfie

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5037
  • The Way I Scroll
    • View Profile
    • some of my woodworking
Re: Your Duck is Dead--
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2013, 01:34:24 pm »
LOL


excalibur 21
Every woodworker needs a fireplace

Offline Keefie

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 4550
    • View Profile
Re: Your Duck is Dead--
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2013, 06:17:06 pm »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
It's all a case of "Mind over Matter",  The Government don't Mind, and I don't Matter.

Offline cdrover(Clyde)

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1641
    • View Profile
Re: Your Duck is Dead--
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2013, 07:37:03 pm »
Good one mickey ;D ;D ;D
What are we here for but to help others. (Author unknown)
Clyde

Offline Marcellarius

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 6135
  • Scrolling each day, keeps the doctor away
    • View Profile
    • Some of my work
Re: Your Duck is Dead--
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2013, 07:12:52 am »
great one!!
Marcel

sometimes I make designer firewood....

ShadowB6

  • Guest
Re: Your Duck is Dead--
« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2013, 11:56:18 am »
Didn't see that coming. LOL

Offline wombatie

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5557
  • Victoria Australia
    • View Profile
Re: Your Duck is Dead--
« Reply #7 on: January 07, 2013, 05:49:50 am »
 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Marg
MARG

No one notices what I do until I'm not here to do it............

 

SMF

Teknoromi