Topics

226

The Coffee Shop / A liitle something from me.

« on: December 20, 2010, 07:29:43 am »

To all of you, my friends here on the forum.
You make each and every day brighter.   
   

(Click on the link to view.)

http://www.americangreetings.com/ecards/view.pd?i=524687276&m=3619&rr=y&source=ag999

227

The Coffee Shop / Hot Air Balloon Ride

« on: December 15, 2010, 01:48:15 pm »

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology" says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well" says the balloonist, "Everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."

The man below says, "You must work in business."

"I do" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."     

228

The Coffee Shop / Four Fathers!!!

« on: December 14, 2010, 07:52:40 am »

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labour.
The nurse tells the first man, "Congratulations! You're the father of twins!"

"What a coincidence! I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team!"

The nurse returns and tells the second man, "You are the father of triplets!"

"Wow, what a coincidence! I work for 3M Corporation!"

When the nurse tells the third man that his wife has given birth to quadruplets.

"Another coincidence! I work for Four Seasons Hotel!"

At this point, the fourth guy faints. When he comes to, the others ask what's wrong.

"What's wrong?! I work for Seven-Up!"

LOL     

229

The Coffee Shop / Christmas Shopping!!!

« on: December 14, 2010, 07:50:29 am »

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The husband says "WHAT?"
The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen that night and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her Christmas shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits.

She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the Jewellery Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out - but she does not care.

She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, "But you don't even play tennis! Well, OK if you like it then let's get it. You deserve the best for Christmas."

The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says, "I am ready to go, let's go to the cash register." The husband stops and says, "No, honey I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." The wife's face goes blank. "No honey - I just want you to hold this stuff for a while."

The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode and the husband says, "You must be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."     

230

Brag Forum / Toy Box

« on: November 22, 2010, 07:26:38 am »

This is the toy box I built for my grandson who is one year old. Added a touch of scroll work. 

231

The Coffee Shop / Bird Dog

« on: November 16, 2010, 07:16:46 am »

Found this little injured guy in my back yard. Will take care of him untill he recovers. My son-in-law said keep him, he would be great for hunting. LOL 

232

General Scroll Saw Talk / Degree Sign !

« on: November 10, 2010, 02:34:00 am »

Several members have asked how to add the degree sign " ? " in your post, first make sure your Num Lock is on. Then while holding down the Alt key type 0176 in the numpad.
Ta-da the degree symbol.  

233

The Coffee Shop / Thanksgiving Turkey !!!

« on: November 09, 2010, 07:25:46 am »

It's right around the corner.

Hope your turkey doesn't hide! LOL 

234

The Coffee Shop / Finally Cool Weather

« on: November 07, 2010, 07:30:33 am »

Well we have finally received some wintry weather here in Florida. Temps have been in the low 40's here at my house for the last couple of nights. Daytime highs in the upper 60's.  Had to turn on a little heat. It is a refreshing change though. Going to have to make some nice hot chile, kind of a tradition at my house. First touch of cool weather, a pot of chile. LOL 

235

The Coffee Shop / For Inquiring Minds

« on: November 07, 2010, 07:06:16 am »

For those who wanted to know,

What Happened To Our Old Super Heros ?

Old Super Heros retirement home!

 LOL     LOL

236

The Coffee Shop / Peanuts Anyone ?

« on: November 06, 2010, 12:58:03 pm »

Tour Bus driver is driving with a Bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old Lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady,

?Why don?t you eat the Peanuts yourself??

?We can?t chew them because we?ve no teeth?, she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, ?Why do you buy them then??

The Old Lady Replied,

?We just love the Chocolate around them?.

    

237

The Coffee Shop / Celebrating Thanksgiving

« on: November 06, 2010, 07:30:55 am »

Since Thanksgiving is right around the corner I had to share. 

Happy Thanksgiving

238

The Coffee Shop / The Cell Phone

« on: November 05, 2010, 07:11:08 am »

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello."

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 200 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .....the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It is really a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....

Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

        

239

The Coffee Shop / I Arrived safely...

« on: November 03, 2010, 08:01:48 am »

Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer to let her know he had arrived safely.

Unfortunately, he miss typed a letter and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Joan Johnson, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away.

The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted. When she was finally revived, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here."
    

240

The Coffee Shop / Redneck Condos

« on: October 25, 2010, 07:02:27 am »

When I saw this I just had to share. 
Makes you won't one, don't it !!!!