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General Category => The Coffee Shop => Topic started by: wombatie on July 30, 2014, 02:56:45 am

Title: For Seniors ONLY
Post by: wombatie on July 30, 2014, 02:56:45 am

Lovemaking Tips for Seniors
1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 111 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
6. Keep the polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have oxygen ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want- the neighbours are all deaf too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

Marg

Title: Re: For Seniors ONLY
Post by: GrayBeard on July 30, 2014, 10:59:53 am

Missed one!

Make sure the old man has taken his blue pill!!!

~~~GB~~~

Title: Re: For Seniors ONLY
Post by: jerry1939 on July 30, 2014, 04:06:07 pm

I am 74 years old and mostly bald.    When a man gets old, his hair is the 2nd thing to go.                  jerry

Title: Re: For Seniors ONLY
Post by: GrayBeard on July 30, 2014, 04:34:47 pm

Old saying from my youth...

"Most guys become bald from making "U-turns" under the sheets!

~~~GB~~~

Title: Re: For Seniors ONLY
Post by: Dakota Saw Dust on July 30, 2014, 08:26:57 pm

Marg - how am I suppose to read her name on my hand when I followed your step #3.  Personally, I have a terrific love life. With my Alzheimer, I wake up with a different lover each morning. 

Title: Re: For Seniors ONLY
Post by: rob roy on July 31, 2014, 10:30:55 am

Hi Marg, I don't bother much about what's on your list. I just make sure THE NITRO SPRAY is under the pillow. I just love taking RISKS. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D.
Rob Roy.