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General Category => The Coffee Shop => Topic started by: stipes on March 19, 2012, 05:30:00 pm

Title: Grandpa and the IRS
Post by: stipes on March 19, 2012, 05:30:00 pm

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

Don't Mess with Old People!!

Title: Re: Grandpa and the IRS
Post by: Keefie on March 19, 2012, 05:58:51 pm

love it  :D :D :D and did grampa make him a pattern too?

Title: Re: Grandpa and the IRS
Post by: dgman on March 19, 2012, 07:40:29 pm

I'm still laughing! :D :D :D

Title: Re: Grandpa and the IRS
Post by: Rover2 on March 19, 2012, 08:03:00 pm

Thats funny.  :D :D :D :D

Title: Re: Grandpa and the IRS
Post by: GrayBeard on March 19, 2012, 10:32:50 pm

Don't Mess with SENIORS!!!

~~~GB~~~

Title: Re: Grandpa and the IRS
Post by: Russ C on March 20, 2012, 07:24:28 am

 :o  :o  :o  LMBO  :D  :D  :D

Title: Re: Grandpa and the IRS
Post by: cdrover(Clyde) on March 20, 2012, 09:29:12 am

Good one Stipes. Reminds me of the old woman and the banker. But I will save that one for later.

Title: Re: Grandpa and the IRS
Post by: newfie on March 20, 2012, 10:51:35 am

LOL

Title: Re: Grandpa and the IRS
Post by: Marcellarius on March 20, 2012, 01:48:13 pm

Love it!! HAHAHA

Title: Re: Grandpa and the IRS
Post by: boxmaker on March 20, 2012, 09:44:22 pm

Now that's funny.

Title: Re: Grandpa and the IRS
Post by: wombatie on March 21, 2012, 01:52:44 am

ROFLMBO  :D :D :D :D :D

Marg