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General Category => General Scroll Saw Talk => Topic started by: Charlie Dearing on May 16, 2010, 09:58:05 am
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I felt I needed to make some apologies and thanks to so many in the scrollsawing community. Any of you who have spoken to me one on one in chat or facebook, know that I am ..well, troubled. I live in a small town, have no money and no in-person friends. For that reason I tend to unload and vent my problems and stresses on people. You don't have to sit there and listen (read), but you do. For that I thank all of you. I don't like my life, my constant bad luck and my many efforts that fail. I love to make people smile and laugh so being here on the forums and in chat, I flirt, crack jokes and try to help. Behind the scenes I am usually very depressed and hopeless. The scrollsawing community truly is my family. I know it is taxing to listen to someone go downhill and feel hopeless in doing anything about it and for that I apologize. I know there are people in this world who have it worse than me...but somehow that doesn't help. Thank you so much for all of you who tolerate me and my faults.
Thank you, also, to Steve for letting me moderate, tolerating me and even helping me get my patterns and such out there. He doesn't ask for a thing in return and I will forever appreciate it. I'm probably rambling now, but felt I had to say these things. I love you all...my family.
-Charles Dearing-
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Charles, don't be so hard on yourself. You bring a lot to the table, both with your creativity and also with your outgoing, compassionate personality. You have helped many people here on this list and in many other places too. Friendships work in both ways - both giving and receiving. Sometimes the bad things just get hold of us and overwhelm us. I guess that is one of the characteristics of a creative personality - you feel things a lot deeper than someone who may not be as artistic. I have also found that the woodworking community as a whole is full of some of the nicest people in the world. It is a great group to be in and I feel very privileged to be part of it. Try to focus on the positive things. I had a very dear friend who taught me the saying "We follow where we focus". I have found that to be true. Focus on the good things and perhaps they will overshadow the bad. Take care.
Sheila
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Charlie....
I agree with Sheila!
If you make one person 'happy' in any way your day is not lost!
Take heart in the fact that you 'help' many others with what you do and FOCUS on that one aspect of your life.
Sure, we may not run right to our saws and immediately cut each pattern you post BUT you have given us something of yourself and it is appreciated by all. We were inspired by something you created and we are better for it.
You appear to be in one of those periods where "I've been down so long everything looks up" but somewhere there is your 'silver lining'. You cannot give up on ourself because you have too many others pulling for you.
~~~GrayBeard~~~
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Hi Charlies,
I agree with Sheila, don't be so hard on yourself. You have shared so much with all of us and I am not talking about just patterns. I know in the short period of time I have known you, I am proud to be your friend. Any time you feel down you need to chat let me know. I will set up my facebook account to text me (My cell Phone) when you post (SMS). So I will watch out for your posts and if you need a friend I can be there. You are a very caring person and I thank you for all the things you add to the forum. I have learned alot from you, and your artistic talents are fantastic. I wish I was that good. I have had depression and bad luck too, and it seemed like there was no way out. It is the darkest just before sunrise. But when the sun does rise it is all beautiful, well and good. Your sun will come up you just have to hang in there untill it does. Untill then lean on your family in the forum.
Russ [C]
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Well Charlie, they say you always take your frustrations out on the ones you love. Then so be it. I know I beat the drum about being a firefighter. I've seen the best and worst in peoples lives. Sometimes you take the worst home with you and climb into a bottle, inside your shell and not let anybody in. Been there done it. Your right it can always get worse. I'm looking to retire this September. This is a job for young people. I can't do half the stuff I used to. And thats very frustrating for me. Doctors have been treating my back for degenerating arthritis. No big deal. Give me some shots in the back, and I'll be fine. Now my neck flairs up. Docs say you now got arthritis in your neck. Been about 4 months. Sometimes it hurts so bad I can't eat. Went to a ENT last Thursday with my wife. He scopes my throat. Something going on with the artery, inflamation, something
like that. he trys to go into my right nostril, but can't. He says that at sometime my nose has been broke. Then he says lets go on down to the voice box a take a look. Then I see my wife crying, and I'm thinking "Whats her problem"? This Doctors very blunt. He says Mr. Roberts you have pre-malignant cancer of the larynx. My first thought was, how did my nose get broke???? He gave me a shot of something, told me to quit smoking. He said it's in the very earily stages. He truley believes it can be stopped. So I'm going to do as I'm told, for once, and not worry about it. Then I go home, get my riding lawn mower ready for grass cutting. back out of the garage, and blow it up. Forgot to put the oil back in it. Now I have to rebuild that. My wife swears I did that so I could make a hot rod out of it. Weeeeeell maybe I did, maybe I didn't. So if you ever need somebody to talk to, get ahold of me. I've been there, done it. Dave
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Charlie, I agree with everyone above here. Don't be so hard on yourself. If you make one person happy, that's all it takes. I have been depressed for a very long time now. It is difficult to get out of I know, and you are not alone in the world. If you need to vent, let me have it. I am a great listener and will only offer advice if asked.
And one of these days I am actually going to sit and read your technique on making patterns after the Grand kids go home.
Take care and enjoy the rest of your weekend.
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Hi Charlie,
Very brave of you to share this with us. It takes somebody with charater to do what you just did. I only know you from this forum, but I agree with what has been sad, you are a great assit. The work you do is beautiful. If you need to get things of your chest send me a mail as phoning me is no option I think. Just remember you have family all over the world.
Hang in there,
David
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Hi, charlie,
I think most of us have been in your position once or twice in our lives. just remember that while you may feel you have no "in-person" friends you have all of us here to talk to. If you ever need to talk just shoot me an email and I will send you my phone number. I am a good listener.
Kevin
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Charley,
As many have said already. If you make someone happy....... Well you sure made me happy with that portrait stencil you did for me. You can bet I tried to come up with something but I'm finding my talents don't run in that direction. Yours do and for that I sure do thank you.
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Charlie - You do many good things for all of us here on the forum. I really enjoyed chatting you one-on-one that night on the chat line and you stayed on and listened to me. If I can do anything to help, please don't hesitate to email and I will be back in touch. Take Care.
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I just had a great idea! Lets everybody get together and go to Charlies house for a 3 day Scroll-fest. We can pitch tents and put up camper trailers in his back yard. Smoke some bones, drink beer, and scroll to are hearts content! It would be really cool to meet everybody. Share ideas, have a good time. We'll cheer Charlie up, and ourselfs as well!!!!! Whats everbody think about that? Dave ;D
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Never been to Texas. Just might be a ton of fun! ;)
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Charlie, you are an inspiration to more than you know. I for one wish you all the best.
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Charlie, I'm glad to be part of your Family and most of all I'd be Happy to be a Friend. Thanks for all you do for all of us!
Bill
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I'm in....I have never been to Texas either. Shouldn't we tell Charlie before we all are knocking at his door..LOL :o
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Nah, I think we should surprise him. Knock at the front door, {about a 100 of us}, and shout, "honey were home". LMAO. Dave ;)
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P.S. I'm serious! We'll just load up, and go. Well take our smokers, grills and scroll saws with us, and make a weekend out of it. What do you think?????? Dave
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Sounds good to me. i have a sister-in-law right down the road in Burnet.
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Psssst, I can see youuuuuuu lol. I live in an apartment so... sigh, it was a cool thought though. Bring some single women too 'cause that's alot of my depression lol.
On a serious note, I knew I could turn to all of you. Thanks so much.
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Charlie I no what you are going though I have been fighting for many years and the battle is on going but we as your scrollsaw family are there for you please keep communicating with every one and DO NOT APOLOGISE FOR YOU CONDITION
Have a look and read of MY STRUGGLE it is only a out line I am not suggesting it will help you but it will show you that you are not alone
http://www.redbubble.com/people/patch/writing
Hold your head up high Charlie you have a lot to be proud for
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I can just see us all in Charlie's small apartment. I have a single sister!!!! I am sure I could bring her along. :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
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Hey....Anybody got a big GENERATOR to feed juice to all our saws?
Sure hate to think Charlie would have 50 or 60 extension cords running out his apartment window.
And we can do a "Marathon Scrollathon"...Some of us that are 'nightowls' can scroll all night so as not to put too big a drain on Charlie's electric service.
I'm free the second weekend in July!
And I'll bring enough barbeque sauce for everyone!
<www.edswhitefront.com (http://www.edswhitefront.com)>
Then I could go on and visit my relatives in Dallas and stop by my cousins in Oklahoma on the way back!
~~~GrayBeard~~~
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We don't care if you live in an apartment. We'll invite your neighbors too. I think I can get my hands on a couple of generators, so Charlies light bill won't ski-rocket. Lets set a date. Were going to Texas!!!!!!!!! Dave ;D
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Charlie I no what you are going though I have been fighting for many years and the battle is on going but we as your scrollsaw family are there for you please keep communicating with every one and DO NOT APOLOGISE FOR YOU CONDITION
Have a look and read of MY STRUGGLE it is only a out line I am not suggesting it will help you but it will show you that you are not alone
http://www.redbubble.com/people/patch/writing
Hold your head up high Charlie you have a lot to be proud for
sorry wrong web site have fixed it
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This apartment complex was built in 1951 so I doubt it could handle all of the electricity lol. Man I do wish we could have some big ol' get together though. (Please not in my tiny apartment though). ;) Oh and Cherie, email me her pic and info lol.
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Hey Charlie, I am scratching my head trying to figure out what the heck you are apologizing for. I have only "known" you since Steve started the chat room in here but I have found you to be a very fun person. I know from seeing your work in here that you are a very talented person too.
Most of my best friends are on-line friends. I don't have a bunch of friends that I hang out with either. I'm pretty shy too except your flirting seems to bring me out in the chat room!
I am fortunate that my job sends me to a conference here and there and I have been able to meet at least a few of my online friends in person. They're mostly pretty much in real life just the same as they are online. So don't discount that you know them "just" on the computer. They are as true a friend as you can have. I hope I can say I can count you as one of mine, even just of such a short acquaintance. You can absolutely count on me as a friend.
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Becky, I have to be in agreement with you here. I basically have my fiance, kids, and my sister. Not too many friends and do not go anywhere. Have a great one!!
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Charlie,
Ive been watching your work progress for maybe 8 years or so. I dont post a lot but Im online every single day. Ive been to your website dozens of times admiring your work. I dont do the type of work you do any longer but I still love looking at it.
Im a very depressed person also, after losing my Wife a year ago. Life can be a real B.... sometimes, but we need to try and keep our heads up and roll with the punches.
I would love to get some lessons from you sometime on your original style and technique.
You Rock Dude!
Gary
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I have a big portable generator that will produce 85 amps at 120 volts. If you figure the average scroll saw will pull anywhere from 2 to 3 amps it should run 30 to 40 scrollsaws. I have a slide in camper for my truck, so I am good to go. 8)
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I gotta tent just big enough for my saw!
Lets go!
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Nice ideas you guys, but can't you move the venue to somewhere on an island between all continents, so that all of us can join in. :) 8) I think I will have to start to save some of my minor scroll saw income to come and see Charlie and some of you in the future, which will be the very far future. But dreams are there to keep us going.
David
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sounds good to me. i have (2) generators, plenty of cords and (3) saws. i would not mind sharing with a friend. maybe a little closer to california though. some wide open desert in new mex. or arizona. we can make all the noise we want. cheer up, things WILL get better.
sorry i can't help with the single sister. Take care. Mike
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Charlie
We don't know each other yet, but I believe you have alot more going for you than you realize. I have been reading about you and all the friends you have here. I would like to consider my friend also. I would like to join some of the chats, but I am recently married and we agreed to not let the computer interfere with our lives.So I rarely get on the computer at night. I don't know if you read my story in my website, but please do. http://woodcraftsbychris.com/aboutme.html
I thought my life was done at one point, but it's not, it's just starting again. Just differently. Alot of my friends left, they couldn't handle my disability. Were they friends, or just drinking buddies? I don't know. But it's okay now. I have new friends in here.
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i read somewhere (maybe here) " a friend is someone that walks in when others walk out". never know when someone is going to walk into your life. another good one is " a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet". best of luck to you. mike
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Charlie
Think on this from time to time
Thank you lord for food in a world where many walk in hunger
for fath in a world where many walk in fear
for friends in a world where many walk alone.
And I think looking at this site you have many friends hands and hearts across the water from Scotland
Robin
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Whow a scrollsaw meet. That would be fun. Wish I didn't live so far away. I to have been through some very tough times & feel that I have burdened others with my problems too much. I am doing Ok at the moment but it has been a long road since I lost my second husband 5 years ago.
I belong to a local woodwork group which are a great group of people.
I also hang onto the fact that Jesus Loves Me even if I don't feel very lovable.
There is light at the end of the tunnel Charles hang in there.
I love my computer - my friends live in it.
Whenever God closes one door He always opens another even though sometimes its hell in the hallway.
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Hola Charly: pens? que yo era el ?nico que pasaba por esta situaci?n, ahora veo que no es as?, sin embargo no hay que darse por vencido, sobre todo t? que tienes un hermoso talento y una creatividad envidiable, a veces las cosas est?n fuera de nuestro alcance, pero como dice un viejo personaje de comic llamado "kalim?n" " quien domina la mente lo domina todo" as? que seguro saldremos de este bache ...cu?date y saludos
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Hey Charlie, everyone here is right so I won't post the same sentiments. However, I do know exactly how you feel. I too battle depression, have no money and have gone through a series of really bad luck. Things are looking up for me since I moved back to Texas a couple weeks ago. I just looked on mapquest and gee........I'm only about a 112 miles from you! I live in a small town too......Springtown, near Fort Worth. When I get back on my feet a bit I might just take a day and drive out your way. I'd love to meet you and maybe we could have a nice cold glass of ice tea together somewhere. We live so close maybe we could be friends in person instead of just online..........what do you think? You can email me too.........ellnbchristi@aol.com
Christina
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:o
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About a year ago a friend of my wife told her about a book, "The Secret", my wife bought the book and read it and also got the video. I was out to sea at the time and dont believe in these self help type books. Well when I got home my wife was gone for her job. She asked me to watch the video and then read the book. Well I was skeptical to say the least. I watched the video 2 times and then went and bought the book and read it 2 times. This book saved my marrieage and has made my life much better. Do I still have some money problems, yep, but not near as bad as they were. I feel better about myself and I dont lose my temper near as much. The book talks about positive thinking and making your thoughts become reality. I know it sounds kinda stupid, but it worked for my wife and I. Spend the $20 and try the book.