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General Category => The Coffee Shop => Topic started by: wombatie on November 03, 2011, 01:16:38 am

Title: Found In Newspaper.
Post by: wombatie on November 03, 2011, 01:16:38 am

A humorous email is doing the rounds purporting to contain extracts from church newsletters.  Her are a few examples:
Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang I Will Not Pass This Way Again giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What the Hell?'  Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some of the old ones.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5pm - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm. Please use back door.

The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday, " I upped My Pledge - Up Yours.


Marg

Title: Re: Found In Newspaper.
Post by: rob roy on November 03, 2011, 07:02:49 am

Hi Marge, those were very funny. Just shows how easy a couple of words in the wrong place   can drop you in it!!. Best wishes from Scotland.
RR.

Title: Re: Found In Newspaper.
Post by: Mainewoods on November 03, 2011, 07:38:59 am

Very funny!  Thanks for sharing this!

Title: Re: Found In Newspaper.
Post by: Russ C on November 03, 2011, 07:52:00 am

Oh my, very funny. LMBO  :D  :D  :D

Title: Re: Found In Newspaper.
Post by: dgman on November 03, 2011, 10:06:45 am

 ;D ;D

Title: Re: Found In Newspaper.
Post by: BilltheDiver on November 03, 2011, 11:16:52 am

They are all good but the last is my favorite.

Title: Re: Found In Newspaper.
Post by: aubec on November 03, 2011, 02:46:00 pm

 ;D ;D ;D
Funny
aubec

Title: Re: Found In Newspaper.
Post by: Dakota Saw Dust on November 03, 2011, 06:40:11 pm

Sending these on to the gal at church who likes inserting one liners like these into our Bulletine.  Thanks for sharing.  Brian

Title: Re: Found In Newspaper.
Post by: Marcellarius on November 04, 2011, 04:38:07 am

great! will send some true to some  friends from church

Title: Re: Found In Newspaper.
Post by: Gabby on November 05, 2011, 10:30:42 pm

The best line!

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

So many good friendships are lost that way.

Sort of like my wife ran off with my best friend.
I'm going to miss him!

Gabby