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General Category => The Coffee Shop => Topic started by: Mr.Mike on August 12, 2011, 12:11:11 pm

Title: WARNING !!!!......They walk among us
Post by: Mr.Mike on August 12, 2011, 12:11:11 pm
IDIOT  SIGHTINGS:



 

I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said "May I have large bills, please"

She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her.

 

***
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.  We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I  watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.  'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'  His reply: 'I know. I already got that  side.'
 
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS


***   


We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the  opener.

I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a  1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.

He said, 'NO, it's  not..' Four is larger than two.'         

We  haven't used Sears repair since.
 

  IDIOT  SIGHTING
    My  daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window
and I gave the clerk  a $5 bill.

Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.

She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.

She sighed and went  to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.

I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'

The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.   
   
Do  not confuse the clerks at McD's. 

   
IDIOT  SIGHTING

I live in a semi rural area.

We recently had a new neighbor call the local  township administrative office

to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!

I don't  think this is a good place for  them to be crossing anymore.'

From  Kingman ,  KS 

 


IDIOT  SIGHTING
My daughter went to a local Taco  Bell    and ordered a taco.

She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
   -- From  Kansas City     

 


IDIOT  SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,

'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'

To  which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in  Birmingham ,  Al a.   

 

  IDIOT  SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.

I was  crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing  driving?!'

She  was a probation officer in  Wichita   , KS   

   

   
IDIOT SIGHTING
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,'

our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'

Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at  each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at  Texas   Instruments.

 
IDIOT SIGHTING   
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself

and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the  Dallas  County  Sheriffs office, no less. 

 


IDIOT  SIGHTING

How would you pronounce this child's name?
"Le-a"
Leah??                NO
Lee - A??            NOPE
Lay - a??             NO
Lei??          Guess Again.

This child attends a school in  Kansas City,  Mo.

Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.

It's pronounced "Ledasha".

When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent." 
 
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.

If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.

 

 

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us...
 

 

Title: Re: WARNING !!!!......They walk among us
Post by: GrayBeard on August 12, 2011, 12:14:59 pm
And they all seem to remember to VOTE!

~~~GB~~~
Title: Re: WARNING !!!!......They walk among us
Post by: Judy Hunter on August 12, 2011, 01:38:25 pm
Worse yet they propagate and multilpy :o
Title: Re: WARNING !!!!......They walk among us
Post by: Chachi on August 12, 2011, 02:02:23 pm
That does it I'm no longer going to WalDASHMart (De dash don't be silent lol) again or into public for that matter it is safer to stay home.
Title: Re: WARNING !!!!......They walk among us
Post by: BilltheDiver on August 12, 2011, 03:18:49 pm
Personally I think it may be contagious.  The older I get, the more mistakes I seem to make. ;D
Title: Re: WARNING !!!!......They walk among us
Post by: Russ C on August 12, 2011, 04:18:13 pm
Oh my  ::)  ::)  ::) LOL.
Title: Re: WARNING !!!!......They walk among us
Post by: Gabby on August 13, 2011, 02:00:23 am
Personally I think it may be contagious.  The older I get, the more mistakes I seem to make. ;D

At least you didn't make a mis-steak. LOL
Did any of your mistakes survive? OH that was BAD!   ::)
Gabby
Title: Re: WARNING !!!!......They walk among us
Post by: cskipper on August 16, 2011, 07:55:07 am
It's sad that those none of those are surprising.  I really love giving cashier's change that will affect what they give me back (the $0.25 example).  Thank goodness the registers can tell them how much to return.  One McD's even had a automated change return, so the cashier only handled bills.
Title: Re: WARNING !!!!......They walk among us
Post by: tux_linux on August 16, 2011, 09:45:52 am
Cathy, double the overpay, that confuses them even more. Great fun!
Title: Re: WARNING !!!!......They walk among us
Post by: Gabby on August 17, 2011, 01:48:59 am
Cathy, double the overpay, that confuses them even more. Great fun!

In Germany too?
G
Title: Re: WARNING !!!!......They walk among us
Post by: wombatie on August 17, 2011, 02:49:52 am
 LOLOL     Read that one before, still makes me laugh.  ;D

Marg