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General Category => The Coffee Shop => Topic started by: GrayBeard on April 29, 2011, 09:57:57 am

Title: Redneck HOme Security System....
Post by: GrayBeard on April 29, 2011, 09:57:57 am

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of 'Guns & Ammo' Magazine.

3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer.  Be back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit  bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and
messed him up bad.  I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell
from all the blood.  Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Better wait outside.  Be right back.

Billy Joe

Title: Re: Redneck HOme Security System....
Post by: Bill P on April 29, 2011, 06:21:41 pm

Love it!

Title: Re: Redneck HOme Security System....
Post by: marmoh on April 29, 2011, 09:04:10 pm

After Katrina I wanted to post a sign that said "Looters welcome, the dogs are hungry".

Title: Re: Redneck HOme Security System....
Post by: Chachi on April 29, 2011, 11:17:31 pm

LMAOOOOO!!!!!!

Title: Re: Redneck HOme Security System....
Post by: cgswss on April 30, 2011, 01:18:48 am

Wait!  Were you by my place Yesterday?

Title: Re: Redneck HOme Security System....
Post by: cameronj on April 30, 2011, 10:15:28 am

Thanks for the laugh, GB.  I needed that today....have a cold.
Jim

Title: Re: Redneck HOme Security System....
Post by: Russ C on April 30, 2011, 12:52:04 pm

LMAO  :D

Title: Re: Redneck HOme Security System....
Post by: yankeebum2 on May 01, 2011, 03:46:59 am

Lmao. Funny one gb.

Title: Re: Redneck HOme Security System....
Post by: ChuckD on May 01, 2011, 06:57:19 pm

I saw a sign on a car the other day.  "Anne, Stay out, I still haven't found the snake.  Be back in a minute"

Title: Re: Redneck HOme Security System....
Post by: slowcutter on May 04, 2011, 10:15:38 am

I put a sign by the door bell

If you are reading this you may soon be Puppy Chow

Title: Re: Redneck HOme Security System....
Post by: newfie on May 04, 2011, 03:40:08 pm

LMAO