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General Category => The Coffee Shop => Topic started by: Dragonlord85 on December 06, 2010, 12:03:20 pm

Title: Do you need a laugh today?
Post by: Dragonlord85 on December 06, 2010, 12:03:20 pm
1. How Do You  Catch a Unique  Rabbit?
Unique up on it.

2. How Do You Catch a  Tame Rabbit?
Tame  Way.

3. How Do Crazy  People Go Through The Forest  ?
They Take The  Psychopath

4. How Do You  Get Holy  Water?
You Boil The Hell Out  Of It

5. What Do Fish Say  When They Hit a Concrete  Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get  From Sitting On The Ice too  Long?
Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a  Boomerang That Doesn't  work? 
A  Stick 

8. What Do You Call  Cheese That Isn't  Yours? 
Nacho  Cheese.

9. What Do You Call  Santa's  Helpers? 
Subordinate  Clauses.

10. What Do You Call  Four Bullfighters In  Quicksand? 
Quatro  Cinco.

11. What Do You Get  From a Pampered  Cow? 
Spoiled  Milk.

12. What Do You Get  When You Cross a Snowman With a  Vampire? 
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The  Bottom Of The Ocean And  Twitches? 
A Nervous  Wreck.

14. What's The  Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea  Soup? 
Anyone Can Roast  Beef.

15. Where Do You Find  a Dog With No  Legs? 
Right Where You Left  Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas  Have Big  Nostrils? 
Because They Have Big  Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind  People Like To Sky  Dive? 
Because It Scares  their Dog.

18. What Kind Of  Coffee Was Served On The  Titanic? 
Sanka.

19. What Is The  Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover  ?! 
The Location Of  The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims'  Pants Always Fall  Down? 
Because They Wore  Their Belt Buckles On Their  Hats.

21. What's The  Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a  Bad Skydiver? 
A Bad Golfer Goes,  Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes  Dang! Whack.

22. How Are  a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The  Same? 
Somebody's Gonna Lose  A Trailer.

23. Why does the ocean  roar???
You would too if you  had crabs on YOUR  bottom.

Title: Re: Do you need a laugh today?
Post by: GrayBeard on December 06, 2010, 12:21:46 pm
You were right!
I was only chuckling until I got to the "Ocean Roar" then I did laugh out loud!
I am doing the 'MC' thing for a party Thursday so I may use a few of these in my opening!

Good Morning and Thanks, Kevin!

~~~GB~~~
Title: Re: Do you need a laugh today?
Post by: julief on December 06, 2010, 12:48:03 pm
That was great!!
Title: Re: Do you need a laugh today?
Post by: Marcellarius on December 06, 2010, 12:53:13 pm
real funny, thanks!
Title: Re: Do you need a laugh today?
Post by: yyyyyguy on December 07, 2010, 09:16:47 am
I especially liked 1 thru 23  ;)
Title: Re: Do you need a laugh today?
Post by: cameronj on December 07, 2010, 11:30:57 am
Thanks for a great laugh.  The first 6 were the best.
Jim