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General Category => The Coffee Shop => Topic started by: Chase on October 14, 2010, 01:17:49 pm

Title: The Speeding Ticket
Post by: Chase on October 14, 2010, 01:17:49 pm

A  mature (over 50) lady gets pulled over for speeding...

 Woman: Is  there a problem, Officer?

Officer:  Ma'am, you were speeding.

 Woman: Oh,  I see.

Officer: Can  I see your license please?

 Woman: I'd give it to  you but I don't have one.

Officer:  Don't have one?

 Woman: Lost  it, 4 years ago for  drunk driving.

Officer: I  see.. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?

  Woman: I  can't do that.

Officer: Why  not?

  Woman: I stole this car.

Officer:  Stole it?

 Woman: Yes,  and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You  what?
 
  Woman: His  body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to  see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police  cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly  approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer  2:  Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!  The woman  steps out of her vehicle.

 Woman: Is  there a problem sir?

Officer  2: One  of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and  murdered the owner.

  Woman:  Murdered the owner?
 
 Officer  2: Yes,  could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty  trunk..

Officer  2: Is  this your car, ma'am?

 Woman: Yes,  here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer  2: One  of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch  purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite  puzzled.

Officer  2:  Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have  a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered  and hacked up the owner.

 Woman: I  bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
 
 
 Moral:  Don't Mess With Mature Ladies

Title: Re: The Speeding Ticket
Post by: dgman on October 14, 2010, 07:36:46 pm

Good one Chase! I like it!

Title: Re: The Speeding Ticket
Post by: Russ C on October 14, 2010, 07:40:13 pm

LMAO, she sure showed him.  :o

Title: Re: The Speeding Ticket
Post by: northie66 on October 14, 2010, 08:38:50 pm

HAHAHA!  Good one!

Title: Re: The Speeding Ticket
Post by: GrayBeard on October 14, 2010, 09:22:06 pm

We keep telling them but they don't listen!

Do Not Mess With Seniors!

~~~GrayBeard~~~

Title: Re: The Speeding Ticket
Post by: jimbo on October 14, 2010, 10:50:34 pm

Been around for a while but still a good laugh
Jimbo

Title: Re: The Speeding Ticket
Post by: Marcellarius on October 15, 2010, 05:24:51 am

I love this one!!

Title: Re: The Speeding Ticket
Post by: Dawie on October 15, 2010, 01:46:48 pm

Great find. ;D
David

Title: Re: The Speeding Ticket
Post by: boxmaker on October 15, 2010, 08:33:01 pm

Another good one. Thanks Chase.

                                                    Mark