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General Category => The Coffee Shop => Topic started by: Chase on September 03, 2010, 02:37:28 pm

Title: Not My day
Post by: Chase on September 03, 2010, 02:37:28 pm
IT'S JUST NOT MY DAY ! ! ! ! !

There I was is sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."
 
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you, you jack-ass, show up and drink the whole thing!

But enough about me, how's your day going?"

Submitted by Chase
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: dgman on September 03, 2010, 02:41:40 pm
Hey Chase, I'm so sorry you had such a bad day! ::)
That's a good one, very funny!
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: Russ C on September 03, 2010, 03:46:01 pm
Good one Chase. I would have loved to see the look on the bikers face. LOL  ::)
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: jimbo on September 03, 2010, 04:13:08 pm
That would help your day a lot, good one Chase
Jimbo
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: Dawie on September 03, 2010, 04:39:25 pm
 ;D Nice one chase.
David
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: julief on September 03, 2010, 04:56:44 pm
Funny
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: GrayBeard on September 03, 2010, 05:04:39 pm
It is bad enough when Chase sneaks into my JOKE files and steals my jokes but when he POSTS ones that I posted before that is really getting mean!  <BG>

If I remember correctly I posted this one a couple months ago but at my age the memory might not be working fully!!!

~~~GB~~~
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: northie66 on September 03, 2010, 05:37:01 pm
Well GB, we're all old... so it's a new joke to all of us!   ;)
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: dgman on September 03, 2010, 06:09:06 pm
Janet, your the youngest old fart here! ::)
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: GrayBeard on September 03, 2010, 07:16:04 pm
Dan...THAT is the kind of "ol' fart" I would like to meet a "Closing Time!"

~~~GB~~~
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: Rightarm on September 03, 2010, 07:46:18 pm
    Why does it have always have to be a trouble making biker? How do you know it wasn't a trouble making old lady, or a florist, bag boy at the Piggly Wiggly, Meter Maid? I give up. Dave ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: dgman on September 03, 2010, 07:54:33 pm
I take it your a biker Dave?
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: GrayBeard on September 03, 2010, 08:02:29 pm
I will tell you now...

IF I have to be "Politically Correct" on this GROOUP...

I'm Outta HERE!!!!

~~~GB~~~
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: Russ C on September 03, 2010, 08:17:09 pm
GB, where did that come from??  Take a chill pill.  I think Dave was just joking.  8)
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: GrayBeard on September 03, 2010, 10:24:20 pm
JOKING!
So was I!!!!!!!


If I get SERIOUS about something The whole GROUP will know it!

Hugzzzzzzzzzzzzz to ALL!

~~~GB~~~
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: Rightarm on September 03, 2010, 10:28:12 pm
    Just kidding GB. Don't be mad! Dave ;D
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: northie66 on September 04, 2010, 08:53:53 am
I may not be as old as some of you, but I suffer from some serious CRS (Can't Remember Sh*t).

One day I punished my teenage daughter for something she did.  I said, "No tv for a week."  She smiled and said, "You won't remember."  I had to laugh.
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: Rightarm on September 05, 2010, 01:01:59 am
    No tv for a week. Wow thats terrible. You should be ashamed of youself Janet. Making that poor girl suffer like that. I wish my mother would have thought of that, instead of the piece of Hot Wheel track that she was using to wail the tar out of me. Dave ::)
Title: Re: Not My day
Post by: Russ C on September 05, 2010, 03:37:05 am
That sounds like my mother. It was what ever she could get her hands on at the time. LOL  :o