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General Category => The Coffee Shop => Topic started by: king310 on January 26, 2013, 08:08:06 pm

Title: If Abbott and Costello were alive today
Post by: king310 on January 26, 2013, 08:08:06 pm
If  Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,  'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like  this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM  ABBOTT
ABBOTT:  Super Duper computer store.  Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking  about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy  one.
ABBOTT:  Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look atthe  windows?
ABBOTT:  Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.. I need a computer and  software.
ABBOTT:  Software for  Windows?
COSTELLO:  No. On the computer! I need  something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my  business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend  anything?
ABBOTT:  I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say  I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? 
ABBOTT:  Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue  'W'.
COSTELLO:  I'm going to click your blue  'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial  bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How  much?
ABBOTT:  One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT:  Super Duper computer store.  Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on 'START'......
Title: Re: If Abbott and Costello were alive today
Post by: cdrover(Clyde) on January 26, 2013, 10:38:20 pm
Very well put. I will be sending this to all the techies I know.
Title: Re: If Abbott and Costello were alive today
Post by: king310 on January 26, 2013, 10:51:25 pm
CD Where has newfie been? I want to tell him I finally figured out where I know him from.
If I am right you will figure it out. Here is the link or missing link ;D ;D ;D
http://www.redgreen.com/index.html (http://www.redgreen.com/index.html)
Title: Re: If Abbott and Costello were alive today
Post by: Keefie on January 27, 2013, 05:03:37 am
 :D :D :D :D :D That one is going to do the rounds lol
Title: Re: If Abbott and Costello were alive today
Post by: cdrover(Clyde) on January 27, 2013, 08:11:27 am
Probably gone into witness protection now. Red Green is an icon in these parts
Title: Re: If Abbott and Costello were alive today
Post by: king310 on January 27, 2013, 05:53:24 pm
Cdrover he is doing a one man show in your neck of the woods sort of. October 2013
Title: Re: If Abbott and Costello were alive today
Post by: ShadowB6 on January 28, 2013, 12:22:04 am
I remember visiting the studio where they filmed the Red Green show about a dozen or so years ago. If memory serves me right, was it not filmed in London Ontario?

Mike
Title: Re: If Abbott and Costello were alive today
Post by: king310 on January 28, 2013, 02:20:32 pm
I use to watch it all the time on PBS. They even performed at the Iowa state Fair a few years back. I always like how he would make things using duck tape.
What made me think of it was dirtriders post on his inventions. Then I saw this on youtube which scared the pajesus out of me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfEJqfFh-BA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfEJqfFh-BA)


I'm a man, but I can change, If I have to, I guess
Title: Re: If Abbott and Costello were alive today
Post by: cdrover(Clyde) on January 28, 2013, 05:35:41 pm
What some people would do. I would have used my beltsander to do the job.A lot less effort.