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General Category => The Coffee Shop => Topic started by: GrayBeard on December 17, 2012, 02:19:37 pm
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Why Parents Drink
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son,
John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the Report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
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GB,
I have learned that when you post in here, not to have anything in my mouth and this just proves me right!!!!! A classic. I had to pass it on to my e-mail list
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As a teacher I can see this really happening. . I too will pass it on to my friends.
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I was lucky Billy, I got the coffee down the front of a WHITE tee shirt. got it in the WM before the BOSS saw it. ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
Rob Roy.
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.GB I can't understand why he got a bad report he seems quite bright if you ask me. :D :D :D :D :D :D
Marg
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Rob Just because you got it in the wash does not mean she does not know.. I'm sure that tid-bit has been filed away to be used against you at some future unknown date.
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Hi Billy, you were right. I was rumbled, the BOSS came home early from town and spotted it in the dryer Dooooooooh. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Rob Roy.
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Rob they have eyes and spies everywhere Bless their hearts~
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Hi Billy, I really should have known better after 43 years of marriage.
::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
Rob Roy.
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Hey Rob Actually you should have known after 43 minutes! But our instinct is not as good as the better half!
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You're right Billy. They say women have what they call female intuition. I would call it RADAR. At least my BOSS has, and I think she also has GPS . :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Rob Roy.
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That sounded like the one I did to my Grandmother..........She would always ask me at thanksgiving when I was getting married........One year I brought a girl home and my grandmother asked that question and that was the last I seen of that date :'( Yhe following year I told my mother that I was going to fix Grandma. My Mom asked me if I would do that to my grandmother.....Yup in a heartbeat ;D.
So Thanksgiving arrives and the meal is over and all of the women where in the kitchen cleaning up when I walked in.... YEP!! Grandma asked the question when are you going to get married.....of coarse this was done so all of aunts could hear ::) . So I proceeded to tell my grandma the following......
Well Grandma I'm not sure.. I'm dating this 35 year old women and she is pregnant!!....But I'm not sure if it mine or not, but we have not talked much about it............. :o :o :o
You should of seen her chin hit the table......My aunts started laughing so hard :D :D :D
Since it had been several years since my grandfather had passed I asked grandma who she was dating. Well she started to talk about a guy she went out with but did not want to see him again since he was a knee patter :D :D
We told grandma she should find some nice guy and shack up with him.......Then the aunts started in on grandma and I just quietly left the kitchen.................... ;D ;D ;D ;D
My grandma never asked me again 10 years later she came to my wedding ;)
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Well Done, King! Well Done!
~~~GB~~~