Topics

31

The Coffee Shop / More Senior Humor

« on: October 22, 2010, 03:16:17 pm »

Learn from your elders

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over
on them easy.

So the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines
and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says.

This catches the senior's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees
to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?'

The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'

The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net.

He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail.
After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.

He wakes the senior and hands him $500. The senior pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'

The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

Submitted by Chase

32

The Coffee Shop / Restroom Signs--A Series--Friday

« on: October 22, 2010, 09:59:26 am »

Submitted by Chase

33

The Coffee Shop / Senior Humor

« on: October 21, 2010, 02:19:26 pm »

With seniors working way past 65 this is what you get!

34

The Coffee Shop / Re: Restroom Signs--A Series--Thursday

« on: October 21, 2010, 09:43:36 am »

Some of these may be somewhat risque .  If you are easily offended, or somewhat prudish,  please pass on this series.

Political

35

The Coffee Shop / Re: Restroom Signs--A Series--Wednesday

« on: October 20, 2010, 09:30:06 am »

Some of these may be somewhat risque .  If you are easily offended, or somewhat prudish,  please pass on this series.

36

The Coffee Shop / PSYCHOPATH TEST

« on: October 19, 2010, 04:10:15 pm »

FYI I didn't get it correct so all of you are safe.  However the wife answered correctly. 

Be afraid, be very afraid.


PSYCHOPATH
 TEST

Read this question, come up with an answer
and then scroll down to the bottom for the result.
This is not a trick question.
It is as
 it reads. No one I know has gotten it right. Few
 people do.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother,
 met a guy whom she did not know. She thought
 this guy was amazing. She believed him to be her
 dream guy so much that she fell in love with him
 right there, but never asked for his number and
 could not find him. A few days later she killed
 her sister..

Question: What is her motive for killing her
sister?

[Give this some thought before you answer,
see answer below]












Keep Scrolling















Answer:

She was hoping the guy would appear at the
funeral again. If you answered this correctly,
you think like a psychopath. This was a test by
a famous American psychologist used to determine
if one has the same mentality as a killer.. Many
 arrested serial killers took part in the test
 and answered the question correctly. If you
 didn't answer the question correctly, good for
 you..


If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take your crazy
but off my e-mail list!

Submitted by Chase

37

The Coffee Shop / Re: Restroom Signs--A Series--Tuesday

« on: October 19, 2010, 10:44:58 am »

Some of these may be somewhat risque .  If you are easily offended, or somewhat prudish,  please pass on this series.

Careful

38

The Coffee Shop / Restroom Signs--A Series--Monday

« on: October 18, 2010, 09:21:54 am »

Some of these may be somewhat risque .  If you are easily offended, or somewhat prudish,  please pass on this series.

39

The Coffee Shop / Restroom Signs--A Series--Sunday

« on: October 17, 2010, 09:48:26 am »

Some of these may be somewhat risque .  If you are easily offended, or somewhat prudish,  please pass on this series.

I was surprised to see Friday's submission got 36 hits and 0 comments.

40

The Coffee Shop / Restroom Signs--A Series--Saturday

« on: October 16, 2010, 09:19:16 am »

Some of these may be somewhat risque .  If you are easily offended, or somewhat prudish,  please pass on this series.

41

The Coffee Shop / Restroom Signs--A Series--Friday

« on: October 15, 2010, 09:51:42 am »

Some of these may be somewhat risque .  If you are easily offended, or somewhat prudish,  please pass on this series.

42

The Coffee Shop / The Speeding Ticket

« on: October 14, 2010, 01:17:49 pm »

A  mature (over 50) lady gets pulled over for speeding...

 Woman: Is  there a problem, Officer?

Officer:  Ma'am, you were speeding.

 Woman: Oh,  I see.

Officer: Can  I see your license please?

 Woman: I'd give it to  you but I don't have one.

Officer:  Don't have one?

 Woman: Lost  it, 4 years ago for  drunk driving.

Officer: I  see.. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?

  Woman: I  can't do that.

Officer: Why  not?

  Woman: I stole this car.

Officer:  Stole it?

 Woman: Yes,  and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You  what?
 
  Woman: His  body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to  see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police  cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly  approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer  2:  Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!  The woman  steps out of her vehicle.

 Woman: Is  there a problem sir?

Officer  2: One  of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and  murdered the owner.

  Woman:  Murdered the owner?
 
 Officer  2: Yes,  could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty  trunk..

Officer  2: Is  this your car, ma'am?

 Woman: Yes,  here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer  2: One  of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch  purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite  puzzled.

Officer  2:  Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have  a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered  and hacked up the owner.

 Woman: I  bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
 
 
 Moral:  Don't Mess With Mature Ladies

43

The Coffee Shop / Restroom Signs--A Series--Thursday

« on: October 14, 2010, 09:36:29 am »

This is a new series.  Some of these may be somewhat risque .  If you are easily offended, or somewhat prudish,  please pass on this series.

44

The Coffee Shop / Restroom Signs--A Series

« on: October 13, 2010, 12:22:47 pm »

This is a new series.  Some of these may be somewhat risque (hey, even us WV folks know some foreign words).  If you are easily offended, or somewhat prudish,  pls pass on this series.

45

The Coffee Shop / Male Sensitivity

« on: October 12, 2010, 04:17:28 pm »

Hope this hasn't been around before.

The room was full of pregnant women  with their partners.  The class was in full swing.  The  instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the  men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of  the pregnancy.
 
She said "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for  you.  Walking is especially beneficial.  It strengthens the pelvic  muscles and will make delivery that much easier."  Just take several stops  and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.
 
She looked at the men in  the room and said, "Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together --  It  wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her.
 
The room suddenly got very  quiet as the men absorbed this information.
 
Then a man at the back of the  room slowly raised his hand.
 
"Yes, answered the instructor.
 
"I was  just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk??
 
This kind of sensitivity just can't be  taught.

Submitted by Chase