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News: Had a couple issues with the forum today. 1/19/2017. I believe I have them corrected now. Let me know if you have any trouble. Thanks.
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557
The Coffee Shop / Perfume Purchase
« on: July 30, 2013, 09:34:41 pm »
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50.00
"That's a bit much" said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00
"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.
"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."
The clerk handed him a mirror.
She showed him a bottle costing $50.00
"That's a bit much" said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00
"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.
"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."
The clerk handed him a mirror.
558
The Coffee Shop / Gym
« on: July 25, 2013, 09:35:41 pm »
I said to the instructor, "Can you teach me to do the splits?"
He said; "How flexible are you?"
I said; "I can't make Tuesdays."
He said; "How flexible are you?"
I said; "I can't make Tuesdays."
563
The Coffee Shop / Willie Nelson Quote
« on: July 11, 2013, 11:48:28 am »
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning seven Tour de France races while on drugs.
When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike.
Willie Nelson
When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike.
Willie Nelson
564
The Coffee Shop / Little Boy in Church
« on: July 09, 2013, 09:33:19 pm »
A little boy went to Church with his mother. During the service, he said, "Mommy, I have to pee".
Mother said, "You should not use that word in Church. From now on, say WHISPER".
Next week, he went to Church with dad. During the service, he said, "Daddy, I have to whisper".
Dad leaned over and said, "Whisper in my ear".
Mother said, "You should not use that word in Church. From now on, say WHISPER".
Next week, he went to Church with dad. During the service, he said, "Daddy, I have to whisper".
Dad leaned over and said, "Whisper in my ear".
565
The Coffee Shop / Baking Cookies
« on: July 08, 2013, 09:31:45 pm »
A little boy was going to help grandma bake cookies. Grandma said, "Would you read the list of ingredients and the instructions for me"? "And double everything".
The little boy started, "Preheat the oven to 700 degrees.
That's all for now. jerry herold, North Liberty, IA
The little boy started, "Preheat the oven to 700 degrees.
That's all for now. jerry herold, North Liberty, IA
566
The Coffee Shop / The Origin of the Human Race
« on: July 08, 2013, 09:21:51 pm »
A little girl said to her mommy, "What is the origin of the human race? Where do people come from"? Mother said, "In the beginning, God created Adam & Eve, and we are all decendants of Adam and Eve".
OK. And she went out to play.
A couple of days later, she asked her dad the same question. Dad said, "When the earth was first formed, it was inhabited by monkeys, and over a period of millions & millions of years of EVOLUTION, we have all evolved from the monkeys.
This really confused the little girl, and she ran right to mommy for an explaination.
Mother said, "It's really simple sweetie, I was explaining to you about MY side of the family".
OK. And she went out to play.
A couple of days later, she asked her dad the same question. Dad said, "When the earth was first formed, it was inhabited by monkeys, and over a period of millions & millions of years of EVOLUTION, we have all evolved from the monkeys.
This really confused the little girl, and she ran right to mommy for an explaination.
Mother said, "It's really simple sweetie, I was explaining to you about MY side of the family".
567
The Coffee Shop / A Good Lookin Gal
« on: July 08, 2013, 09:09:37 pm »
When a guy sees a good lookin gal, and she's wearing a tight leather outfit, do you know WHY it is that his heart starts beating faster, his palms get sweaty and his knees start to feel weak?
Because she smells like a new pickup truck.
Because she smells like a new pickup truck.
568
The Coffee Shop / Jeff Foxworthy
« on: July 08, 2013, 09:05:21 pm »
If, in the nations largest city, you can buy 2 - 16 ounce sodas, but not one 24-ounce soda, because 24 ounces of sugary drink might make you fat ------ You might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
