Topics

31

The Coffee Shop / Christmas in the Shop

« on: December 24, 2012, 03:53:28 pm »

Twas the day before Christmas out in the shop
All the presents were finished and the floor was mopped

The tables were all polished with two coats of paste
And the tools were all hung in their proper place

I in my sweatshirt and wool sock hat
Sat down in the chair, petting Scruffy the cat

He has taken up residence and gotten so bold
?Cause outside the weather had turned real cold

He ate some food and came back to my lap
I knew right then that he wanted to nap

I put him down and went back to my work
Cleaning and wiping each cranny and nook

I wanted the shop to be spotless this day
Tonight Santa would  arrives in his sparkling sleigh.

A clean shop is a safe shop so I have been told
So safety is first so I can continue to scroll

Now to all of my friends who like to scroll
Make safety first  so you can grow old

The time is  late and Santa is near
Merry Christmas to all and to all a safe year

32

The Coffee Shop / I Love Procrastinators

« on: December 24, 2012, 02:19:32 pm »

Thanks to procrastinators. I have made 2 nice sales in the last 24 hours.  A possible third has called. and the day ain't over.  Merrrrrry Christmas!

33

The Coffee Shop / My Christmas Wishes for You

« on: December 24, 2012, 09:49:30 am »

I became a member of this group only 6 short months ago, yet with the friends and fellowship, it seems like much longer  (good thing). It is a great thing to be able to share a hobby that I enjoy so much. Thanks to each and every on of you  for making me feel at home.
 Merry Christmas to all. 
Billy  and my best half Karen


Because you are my Friends and I love you, you will not be receiving any of that sissy crap  with rhyming words and sentimental lines. No cute little smiley faces. None of that friendship sickly sweet stuff that sounds good but we quickly forget. That stuff never even comes close to reality.  Instead I will give you some promises that truly show the love and caring I have for you.  Just the stone cold truth of my great caring for m friends
 
 
When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad
like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew.
 
When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
 
When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be
involved in. 
 
When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
 
When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much
Worse it could be until you quit whining.
 
When you are confused -- I will use little words.
 
When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever the hell you have.
 
When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
 
If you fart I will point and make sure everyone near knows it was you!
I will also do the same thing if I fart!

I will constantly remind you(and everyone else) that you  are older then me!

I will never engage you in a battle of wits -  it isn?t right to fight an unarmed man.

This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;
'because you are my friend'.

34

The Coffee Shop / A Little Retirement Project

« on: December 14, 2012, 08:09:00 am »

http://biggeekdad.com/2010/10/radio-flyer-car/

35

The Coffee Shop / "WHAT IS THE CORRECT ANSWER?"

« on: December 13, 2012, 10:01:08 pm »

You are driving down the road in your caron a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?  Think before you continue reading.


This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job
application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and
thus you should save her first.  Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.


YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS.....................

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants)
had no trouble coming up with his answer.  He simply answered: 'I would
give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital.  I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.'
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.
Never forget to 'Think Outside of the Box.'
HOWEVER....,  The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery because  health care won't pay for her hospital visit anyway, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.

 I just love happy endings!

36

The Coffee Shop / Christmas Golf

« on: December 12, 2012, 08:43:24 am »

Four old-timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round.

His buddies all chimed in and said, ?Let?s do it!   We?ll make it a priority, figure out a way and meet here early Christmas morning.? 
Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course.   The first guy says, ?Boy this game cost me a fortune!   I bought my wife such a diamond ring that she can?t take her eyes off it.?
The second guy says, ?I spent a ton, too.   My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her.   She was up to her eyeballs in brochures.?

The third guy says ?Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual.?

They all turned to the last guy in the group who is staring at them like they have lost their minds.   ?I can?t believe you all went to such expense for this golf game.   I slapped my wife on the butt and said, "Well babe, Merry Christmas!   It?s a great morning for sex or golf."   And she said, ?Take a sweater.?

37

The Coffee Shop / DRIVER'S LICENSE

« on: December 12, 2012, 08:38:53 am »

A man was sitting on the lawn sunning and reading when he was startled by a late model car crashing through a hedge and coming to rest on his lawn.

He helped the elderly driver out and sat him down on a lawn chair. "My goodness" he exclaimed, "you are quite old to be driving!"

"Yes" the old gentleman replied, "In fact, I'm old enough that I don't need a license anymore."

"I've never heard of such a thing!" said the man.

"Me neither," said the old timer, "But the last time I went to my doctor, he examined me, and asked if I had a drivers license. I told him yes and he asked to see it. Then he took a pair of scissors out of a drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the wastebasket."

"You won't be needing this anymore," he said.

"So I thanked him and left."
Don't you just love seniors!
 

38

The Coffee Shop / My secret Santa ornamet.

« on: December 11, 2012, 08:01:02 am »

From Joe Hall  Thank you Joe.  The angle is well  cut and the wood is really beautiful.  I asked Joe what the wood is but he did not know.  He was given a box  with numerous pieces  and he used one. What ever it is, tis' nice  Thanks again Joe.

39

The Coffee Shop / Newfoundland Love Story

« on: December 06, 2012, 10:07:54 am »

Jarge and Aggie lived in the cove just past Lewiston Tickle up on the Peninsula. It was early winter and the bottom of the cove had frozen over. 

Jarge asked Aggie if she would walk across the frozen part of the cove to the general store and get him some smokes. 

She asked him for some money, but he told her, "Nah, just put it on our tab, ol? man Stacey won?t mind."

So Aggie walked across, got the smokes at the store and then walked back home across the cove.

When she got home and gave Jarge his smokes, she asked him,  "Jarge, you always tells me tell me not to run up the tab at Stacey?s store.  Why didn't you just give me some money?"

Jarge replied, "Well, Aggie, girl, I didn't want to send you out there with cash when I wasn?t sure how thick the ice was !?
     
Kind of brings a tear to yer eye, don?t it!
 

40

The Coffee Shop / Final Show of 2012

« on: December 03, 2012, 08:32:42 am »

We had our final show yesterday and it was prety good. Actually sold some ornments  YEA!!!!!!!!!!1   Priced them at $4 or 3 for $10.  Only sold singles but that is OK. Of course one lady fell in love with an angle and said  I love this how much/  ( she could not read the sign I guess)  I told her, she hung it back on the tree and walked away without a word. The show was from 1-5 Pm and from about 2 - 3 the place was empty for the parade. We sold about $150, so not real bad for a few hours.  went to dinner after and met up with some other folks that sell there every year and all agreed that the crowd was way down this year.  Folks are hanging on to their $$$$$$  At least I do not have to have a viking funeral for my ornaments now!

41

The Coffee Shop / Intarsia?

« on: November 30, 2012, 01:54:50 pm »

A very loose definition of intarsia could be putting cut pieced of wood together to mak a picture -    so could the be called intarsia?

42

General Scroll Saw Talk / Baltic Birch Plywood Help

« on: November 25, 2012, 08:13:50 pm »

There is an article in the latest Woodsmith about  Premium Plywood.  The article states that 3/4 inch Baltic Birch has 13 core plies.  I recently purchased some 1/4  and 1/8 ply that was labeled Baltic Birch.  (Not from the abig box store).  How many core plies are there in the 1/4?   Baltic birch is reported to be free of voids, yet I have found two so far in a 12'' X 12 " board.   I am trying to determine if I have true Baltic Birch or a knock off.  Thanks for any help.

43

The Coffee Shop / Babys First Doctor Visit

« on: November 24, 2012, 05:21:20 pm »

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

'Breast-fed,' she replied...

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'

'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came.'

44

The Coffee Shop / Seat Belt Ad

« on: November 22, 2012, 12:27:22 pm »

This is the new "wear your seat belt" ad the UK is doing - started by some dude not hired to do it, but because the cause is important to him, he came up with this idea, and now it's being hailed across the world as a "beautiful" commercial.
...And now the video has become so popular with the general public that people are forwarding it to friends/family on their own so quickly that it has spread all over the world in a very short time.
Check out this remarkable ad.
 
http://www.youtube.com/embed/h-8PBx7isoM"

 

45

The Coffee Shop / Percussive Maintenance

« on: November 19, 2012, 01:56:30 pm »

Hitting something repeatedly until it works is known as Percussive Maintenance or in laymens terms - Get a bigger hammer.