Author Topic: The Man Rules  (Read 2605 times)

Offline jscott2

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The Man Rules
« on: January 28, 2012, 04:55:41 pm »

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
 
 Finally , the guys' side of the story.  ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)  We always hear " the rules" From the female side....
 
 Now here are the rules from the male side.   
 
These are our rules!  Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "  ON PURPOSE! 
 
 
1.   Men are NOT mind readers.
(FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
 
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.  We need it up, you need it down.  You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports or news, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.  Let it be.
 
1.. Crying is blackmail.
 
1. Ask for what you want.  Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!  Just say it!
 
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
 
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.  Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.  Don't ask us.
 
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the  other one
 
1. You can either ask us to do something  Or tell us how you want it done.  Not both.  If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.
 
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we.
 
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.  Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.  Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.  We do that.
 
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.  We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
 
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
 
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
 
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football  or Cars.
 
1. You have enough clothes.
 
1. You have too many shoes.
 
1. I am in shape.   Round IS a shape!
 
1. Thank you for reading this.  Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that?  It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -  to give them a bigger laugh.
Using a Delta 40-690 in the Montreal, Quebec (Canada) area

Offline Keefie

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Re: The Man Rules
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2012, 05:38:09 pm »
love it, it has already been copied and sent to all in my mailing list. ;D ;D ;D
It's all a case of "Mind over Matter",  The Government don't Mind, and I don't Matter.

Offline Marcellarius

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Re: The Man Rules
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2012, 09:44:18 am »
LOL,   ;D :D ;D
....Hmmm....shall I mail it to my wife......???  ::)
Marcel

sometimes I make designer firewood....

Offline Russ C

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Re: The Man Rules
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2012, 09:59:31 am »
 ::)  ::)  ::)  LMBO,  :D  :D  :D
russ@simplywoodencreations.com

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Offline iggygiles

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Re: The Man Rules
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2012, 03:11:44 pm »
Oh Yes,  and I remember my Dads little song. (wise old owl my Dad 8) 8))

            When I was single my pockets did jingle, I wish I was single again.  :'( :'(
Frustration is the food of invention.

Offline wombatie

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Re: The Man Rules
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2012, 12:12:27 am »
I read this not so long ago a male friend sent it to me, his funeral was last week.  LOL  :D :D :D :D  :-*

Marg
MARG

No one notices what I do until I'm not here to do it............

rob roy

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Re: The Man Rules
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2012, 08:34:24 am »
I will print that out and stick it to the fridge door. At EYE LEVEL lol.
Rob Roy.

Offline newfie

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Re: The Man Rules
« Reply #7 on: January 30, 2012, 09:42:31 am »
LOL some good one's there.


excalibur 21
Every woodworker needs a fireplace

thawkins57

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Re: The Man Rules
« Reply #8 on: January 30, 2012, 12:22:49 pm »
Not sure I want to take a chance... LOL

ChuckD

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Re: The Man Rules
« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2012, 02:01:25 pm »
I showed that to my Bride and she said "You sure read a lot of fiction, don"t you?"  Now guys, is that right?????

rob roy

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Re: The Man Rules
« Reply #10 on: January 30, 2012, 05:39:44 pm »
Hi Chuck, no, it's not right but you try telling her otherwise. I see by your new avatar you're just a big  cat anyway LOL.
Rob Roy.

ChuckD

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Re: The Man Rules
« Reply #11 on: January 30, 2012, 10:23:44 pm »
Hi Chuck, no, it's not right but you try telling her otherwise. I see by your new avatar you're just a big  cat anyway LOL.
Rob Roy.

That avatar just shows the expression I wear most of the time..

Offline Gabby

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Re: The Man Rules
« Reply #12 on: February 01, 2012, 02:59:31 am »
I will print that out and stick it to the fridge door. At EYE LEVEL lol.
Rob Roy.

Better make that worms eye level, Roy so you can read it after SWMBO
gets through with you. LOL
Gabby
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TRUST IN GOD!
 DON'T BELIEVE ALL YOU HEAR & DON'T SAY ALL THAT YOU THINK !

 

SMF

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