Topics

16

The Coffee Shop / New tool from Lee Valley

« on: April 08, 2017, 10:58:23 pm »

Looks very interesting - gotta get me one.

http://www.leevalley.com/en/wood/page.aspx?p=75640&cat=1,46158,75230,75235&ap=1

Jim

17

The Coffee Shop / Don't wash your hair in the shower

« on: March 31, 2017, 10:02:32 am »

So glad I read this. Very informative.

DO NOT wash your hair in the shower!!
It's so good to finally get a health warning that is ...useful!!!

IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT.

WARNING TO US ALL!!!

Shampoo Warning!

I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!

I use shampoo in the shower!

When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning, "FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME."

 No wonder I have been gaining weight!

Well! I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn Dishwashing Soap.

It's label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."
Problem solved! If I don't answer the phone, I'll be in the shower!

18

General Scroll Saw Talk / Aw, Sugar Plums!!

« on: December 19, 2016, 06:34:33 pm »

I cut Steve's "Life Without Music Would B flat" out of 1/8" baltic birch and planned to glue it onto a background of dark wood.  Got the pattern and the background cut and put glue on the BB.  Was just about to put the cutting on the background when I realized I put the glue on the FRONT side. 

Wiped off as much glue as I could and then used a wet towel to try to get the rest off.  I know I didn't get it all off.  It is now sitting under weights hoping it will dry flat, and not delaminate.  Then I will try sanding the front smooth but don't know how well that will work.

Any suggestions on how to salvage it?  (Telling me to put the glue on the back side will not be appreciated.    )

Jim

19

The Coffee Shop / Life

« on: October 17, 2016, 02:11:30 pm »

A teacher asked her class, "What do you expect out of life? "

Wee Margaret raised her hand said, "All I want for my life is four little
animals, just like my Mom always says. "

The teacher then asked her, " Really and what four little animals would they
be?" Wee margaret responded, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a
tiger in my bed and a jackass to pay for all of this!"

The teacher got a coughing fit and had to leave the room!

20

The Coffee Shop / Perfect analysis

« on: September 19, 2016, 08:28:48 pm »

"When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, best strategy is to dismount "

However, in government, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

1. Buying a stronger whip.

2. Changing riders.

3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.

4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.

5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.

6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
 
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.

9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's  performance.

10. Doing a  productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's  performance.

11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.

12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.

And of course....

13 Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.


If you don't understand this theory, you haven't lived long enough

 

21

The Coffee Shop / The Driving Test

« on: September 05, 2016, 10:06:35 am »

A lady failed the driving test 4 times.. At the fifth attempt, she was
determined to pass. But the test had the same question : "You are driving at
120 mph. On your right is a wall, on your left is a cliff. On the road, you
see an old man and a young man. What will you hit ?".

The woman walked up to the examiner and said, "I've answered this question
in all four ways, wall, cliff, young man, old man. Yet I failed all the four
times. How is this possible? What am I supposed to hit ?"

Examiner : "The brakes!!!"

Men are not suppose to laugh please !!!!
I have to admit that I also had the wrong answer, until I read the last line.
Jim

22

The Coffee Shop / Post crash - minor problem and solution

« on: August 13, 2016, 09:46:38 am »

After Steve worked so hard to restore my favourite forum, I was not seeing the new posts.  Didn't think much about it until this morning, just thought nobody was posting - should have known better.

It turns out I had to login again and now everything is good.  If anyone else is having trouble seeing where there are new post, try logging in.

Have a good day,
Jim

23

The Coffee Shop / Spiders for Steve's scare box

« on: July 24, 2016, 05:13:55 pm »

Thought I might try the scare box in today's pattern.  Went on line to price the spiders.  In Steve's link https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005O4DA3G/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 a package costs $5.72 US plus shipping.  As I am in Canada, I tried the Canadian Amazon site https://www.amazon.ca/Party902-Strechy-Plastic-Spiders-plastic/dp/B01A9IC924/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1469380251&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=Party902+-+Strechy+and+Scary+Plastic+Spiders%2C+2%22%2C+Made+of+plastic+%281-Pack+of+12%29 .  $42.40 Canadian (about $55.54 US) plus shipping.

Am I the only one who sees a problem here?  Buy from a Canadian source and pay almost exactly 10 times the cost?  It's no wonder so many Canucks drive across the border.

My rant for the day.
Jim

24

The Coffee Shop / Steve's pattern today (July 8)

« on: July 08, 2016, 08:50:01 am »

I like his warranty on protective properties of today's pattern.

Have a good day,
Jim

25

The Coffee Shop / Tech Support in Marriage

« on: May 11, 2016, 08:06:31 am »

The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people's love advice was hilarious and genius!
The query:
 
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?
 
Signed, Desperate
 
The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):
 
Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.
 
In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.  In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.
 
Good Luck

26

The Coffee Shop / Only In A Stupid World

« on: April 27, 2016, 07:54:02 am »

Only in a stupid world do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in a stupid world do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

Only in a stupid world do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in a stupid world do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
                   
Only in a stupid world do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in a stupid world do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a Broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?

Why isn't there cat-flavoured dog food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?  Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of Progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

27

The Coffee Shop / Proofreading, or not

« on: March 17, 2016, 09:06:06 am »

PROOF READING - A DYING ART

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.
It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!
They put in a correction the next day.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? You think?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's! They must be UNION!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!


And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
 

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity
and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle).
We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!

28

General Scroll Saw Talk / Busy Bee - LED lamp

« on: February 17, 2016, 12:56:35 pm »

Busy Bee is selling their LED magnifier lamp for about 1/2 price.  http://www.busybeetools.com/products/magnifying-lamp-90-led-table-mounting.html  They also ship to the US.

I have one and really like it.

Have a good day,
Jim

29

Tutorials, Techniques and Tips / Cleaning cast iron

« on: January 12, 2016, 11:45:13 pm »

Got some rust on a cast iron table saw top and couldn't get to it right away.  When I finally was able to attack it with steel wool and Scotch Brite pads, the rust came off with not much trouble.  The surface is smooth but there are stains where the rust was.  The stains are only cosmetic but I would like to get rid of, or at least reduce them, if I can do it without too much effort.

Does anybody have any suggestions on how to get rid of the stains?

Thanks,
Jim

30

The Coffee Shop / Donald

« on: January 06, 2016, 10:36:21 am »

How times change.

Jim