Topics

16

Brag Forum / Cribbage Board

« on: August 28, 2014, 03:47:31 pm »

Well i havn't much on here lately,been busy with home repairs among other things.But made this cribbage board this week for our neighbors for there anniversary.used 3/4" mahogany for the board and 1/8" birch plywood for the name and cards.the cards didn't come out the best but what can you do broke a couple pieces trying to get them cut.so i'm going to leave it as is.thanks to LarryEA over at scrollsaw village for the crib board layout it was greatly appreciated.also thanks to Travis (TDPainter) for the the card pattern.

17

The Coffee Shop / Bank Robber

« on: August 15, 2014, 03:52:59 pm »

After a long two-week criminal trial in a high profile bank robbery case, the jury finally ended its 14 hours of deliberations and entered the courtroom to deliver its verdict to the judge. The judge turns to the jury foreman and asks, "Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?" "Yes, your honor," the foreman responded. "Would you please pass it to me," the judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and deliver it to him. After the judge reads the verdict himself, he delivers the verdict slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman and instructs the foreman, "Please read your verdict to the court." "We find the defendant NOT GUILTY of all four counts of bank robbery," stated the foreman. The family and friends of the defendant jump for joy at the sound of the "not guilty" verdict and hug each other as they shout expressions of divine gratitude. The defendant's attorney turns to his client and asks, "So, what do you think about that?" The defendant looks around the courtroom slowly with a bewildered look on his face and then turns to his defense attorney and says, "I'm real confused here. Does this mean that I have to return the money?"

18

Pattern Requests. / cribbage boards

« on: August 14, 2014, 04:23:26 pm »

Anyone know where I can get some different cribbage board plans at?

19

The Coffee Shop / 200 Bucks

« on: August 14, 2014, 06:37:57 am »

A guy goes over to his buddy's house, rings the bell, but his buddy's wife answers. "Hi is Tony home?" "No, he went to the store." "Well, you mind if I wait?" "No, come in." They sit down and the friend says "You know, Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell, It's worth one hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws 100 bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful. I must see the both of them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could just see the both of them together." Nora thinks about this and says what the hell, opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. She feels bad for him, so she pushes her breasts into his face for a moment and she let's him have a few squeezes. Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table then says he can't wait any longer for Tony and he leaves. A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know your weird friend Chris came over." Tony thinks about this for a second and asks, "Well, ... did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

20

The Coffee Shop / Creative Woodworks & Crafts

« on: August 11, 2014, 07:24:15 am »

Good morning all i was reading on facebook that Creative Woodworks & Crafts as gone bankrupt.can anyone confirm if this is true.i hope not that was the only woodworking magazine we use to get in this town.   

21

The Coffee Shop / Two boys walked into a pharmacy

« on: August 07, 2014, 03:21:02 pm »

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of
tampons and preceded to the checkout counter...
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for
him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you

would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either."

22

The Coffee Shop / Irish Lubricant

« on: August 07, 2014, 10:58:32 am »

Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had
come.

He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.

She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said.

'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,!

'Ain't dat grand, !!'
Murphy got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said,
'Hold on! We ain't finished yet, !'

The doctor then delivered a little girl.

He said,
'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter, !!!! She is a pretty lil ting,
too....'

Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said,
'Hold on, we aint got done yet, !'

The doctor then delivered another boy and said,
'Murph, you just had yourself another boy, !'

Murphy said to the doctor,
'Doc, what caused all of dem babies,?'

The doctor said,
'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during
conception.'

Murphy said,
'Ah yeah, during conception.'

When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down
with his wife and said,

'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use
dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.'

She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...'

Murph said,
'I'll tell you, .....it's a freaking' good ting we didn't use WD-40

23

The Coffee Shop / HELP PLEASE "BANNED FROM THE FORUM"

« on: July 31, 2014, 04:47:54 pm »

got a phone call today from TDPainter he can't login he gets message that says he's "BANNED FROM THE FORUM".on the next line it says "SPAM" and "THIS BAN IS NOT SET TO EXPIRE". doe's anyone know how to fix this problem??

24

The Coffee Shop / CASE DISMISSED!

« on: July 29, 2014, 09:46:57 am »

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, She complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) What he had to say for himself.

The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time And sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!' ... I just lost it.

CASE DISMISSED!

25

The Coffee Shop / delta ceramcoat paints

« on: July 11, 2014, 07:38:33 am »

does anyone where to buy delta ceramcoat paints online in Canada?

26

The Coffee Shop / A newfie in the courtroom

« on: July 03, 2014, 09:50:02 am »

The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with
beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"
The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to
death with a hammer."
The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten bastard!"
The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom, a
Newfie , Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes,
but no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that
understood?"
The Newfie in the back of the court stands up and says,
"I'm sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years, I've lived next door to
that asshole, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't
have one.

27

Brag Forum / heritage fair

« on: May 31, 2014, 05:22:41 pm »

HI all i haven't posted anything in awhile been busy with spring clean up and home repairs.do get some time to help my daugher with her heritage fair project.she did it on a topical outport fishing stage scene. it basically a shed thats built at the waters edge that fisherman use for storing there fishing supplies.i did most of the woodworking and my daugher and wife did the painting and setting it all up.Travis (TDPainter) painted the bottom board to try and make it look like water.the little tubs with the string in them are the ones EIEIO helped with the pattern for them.made it so she could take the roof of it so people could look inside it and see the different things in there.there is a set of rain clothes in there that her grandmother made for her as well. it took us about 3 weeks ot finish between everything else we had on the go at the time.heres a few pics 

28

Ask Steve a question. / reply on your post Style Changes for the text

« on: May 27, 2014, 08:10:58 am »

 Style Changes for the text.
? on: May 26, 2014, 08:07:57 PM ?

Hi Steve
  first of all great job on all the work you do to the forum and i for one can't thank you enough.
but my trouble with the text is on the home page and when your in a categories section like when you go to pattern request or brag forum ETC. i find theses pages are very hard for me to see.i do need a some what high contrast do to my poor eyesight. being color blind a long with it doesn't help very hard for me to read the text on the grey/silver background. i don't expect you or anyone else to make changes for one or two people but i thought i would let you know.

thank you for your time.

29

General Scroll Saw Talk / bowl making question

« on: April 09, 2014, 05:35:47 pm »

i want to make little bowls for my daughters school project.i'm planning on using 1/2" thick material and the ring i want them 1/4" thick so it doen't look to bulky. the bottom is about 1-1/2" wide the top is about 2-1/4" wide and the height is about 2-1/2" high.my question is what degree angle would you use to get this? i attached a pic of a tin one i have its the same size of the measurements of what i'm looking for.   

30

Brag Forum / Jonah & the Whale puzzle

« on: March 28, 2014, 10:20:06 pm »

here's another 3d puzzle like the 3d puzzle fish,made from 1-1/2" x 1-1/2" x 4"