Author Topic: GED Education  (Read 1066 times)

king310

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GED Education
« on: November 16, 2013, 05:46:49 pm »
GED stands for General Educational Development and is an exam which can be taken direct or on-line.

The following questions were in last year's GED examination...
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)...
 
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
 
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
 
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.
 
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
 
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)
 
Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
 
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (So true)
 
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death.
 
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull. (Super)
 
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant)
 
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O, U...

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.
 
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby
 
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work)
 
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
 
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
 
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)
 
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (brilliant)
 
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.
 
 
AND TO THINK, SOME OF THESE PEOPLE ALREADY MAY BE IN WASHINGTON !

Offline Al W

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Re: GED Education
« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2013, 06:30:52 pm »
MAY BE IN WASHINGTON???????

I believe some of these kids might be better than what we have in DC right now.


Great lines on some of them - loved terminal illness.

Thanks for posting this - I got a few chuckles.

Al
Molon Labe

Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear.

The government is NOT always right, or on your side.

Offline Rapid Roger

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Re: GED Education
« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2013, 07:37:32 pm »
It seems to me that a lot of those questions are medical related.  :-\  Is there a GED test for medical students?  ???
Now I'm really worried!  :o

Rog  ;) ;D
An ounce of responsablity is worth 10 pounds of state and fedral laws.

Offline cdrover(Clyde)

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Re: GED Education
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2013, 09:03:41 pm »
And about the question.
What is an oxymoron?
One student replied.
An oxymoron is a stun ox. ;D
What are we here for but to help others. (Author unknown)
Clyde

Offline wombatie

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Re: GED Education
« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2013, 01:25:27 am »
 :'( :'( :'(   That was sooooooooooo funny I am crying.  :'( :'( :'( :'(   :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Marg
MARG

No one notices what I do until I'm not here to do it............

Offline towdude3

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Re: GED Education
« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2013, 10:48:24 pm »
I thought GED stood for good enough diploma.

 

SMF

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