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Topics - Russ C

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256
The Coffee Shop / A Police are warning for all men !!!
« on: August 29, 2010, 04:58:25 am »
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman.

Many females use a date-rape-drug on the market called ' Beer'.

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs.

Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.

A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex..

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several Beers , men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking Beer , men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that 'something bad' occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as 'a relationship'. In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as'marriage'.

Men are much more susceptible to this scam afterBeer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please forward this warning to every male you know.

If you fall victim to this ' Beer' scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.

For the support group nearest you, just look up'Golf Courses' in the phone book.

 :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o

257
The Coffee Shop / 50 years of Andy Griffith
« on: August 25, 2010, 04:37:11 pm »
TV Land a cable production, has been airing The 50 years of The Andy Griffith Show. I have been watching it all week while I have been working in my shop. Wow, does it bring back memories. My father and I watched it all the time. The memories flood my mind of the times I had with my father. My father died on my sixteenth birthday. When I watch these shows I really miss him and it is because of him, I have become the man I am today. Thanks Dad.  :)

258
The Coffee Shop / Gorilla Catcher
« on: August 25, 2010, 09:29:28 am »
A man walks out on his driveway one Sunday morning to get the paper. To his amazement in a tree in his front yard was a gorilla.

He runs in the house telling his wife "there's a gorilla in the tree in the front yard. She looked at him and said "well don't just stand there, get the phone book and call a gorilla catcher".

Thinking to himself, yeah right, while opening the phone book. There in the yellow pages in one listing for a gorilla catcher. Calling the number a man answers so the husband explains the situation. Without hesitation the gorilla catcher said I will be there in about an hour.

Sure enough one hour later this beat up old pick up truck arrives, with a cage in the bed. A gruffy looking old man gets out with a shot gun, a pair of hand cuffs and his hound dog.

The husband shows the gorilla catcher the tree, and the old man tells the husband "my assistant is out sick, so I am going to need your help. The husband immediately refuses. The old man goes on to explain " your job is really not that hard and I will pay you". The thought of money had the husband asking "what do I have to do"?

Explaining the old man says "I am going to climb up that tree and knock the gorilla out. He is going to fall to the ground. When he lands my dog is going to bite him in the privates.

The gorilla will then stick out his hands in pain, You hand cuff the gorilla, and it will all be over. I'll climb down and load him in the cage. Thinking through the whole process again in his head the husband asks, ok but what about the shot gun?

The old man says " Oh yeah I forgot that". "The gun is for just in case the gorilla knocks me out of the tree".

SHOOT THE DOG !!!

259
The Coffee Shop / You think it is Hot where you Live!!!!!!
« on: August 13, 2010, 10:20:25 am »
We are having a heat wave here in Florida.!!!!!!  :o  :o  :o

260
The Coffee Shop / Leaving The Nest
« on: August 11, 2010, 03:03:02 pm »
OK it is official. Our last two, out of seven, are starting to fly and will be leaving the nest. Cody the last one to pass his Florida Driving Test today. Cory & Cody will graduate in 2011 and start flying off into the wild blue yonder. If it is like the others they won't fly too far. All our children ( Three daughters, Three son-in-laws, Four Grand-children, Four sons, One Daughter-in-law ) live within ten miles of the main roost. LOL.  << Genesis 1:28 >>Then God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and multiply.  Life is good, and our family is growing.
The young ones are spreading there wings and ready to fly.   8)  8)  8)

261
The Coffee Shop / Bearer of bad news
« on: August 05, 2010, 04:43:46 pm »
One day A Doctor had to be the bearer of bad
news. He told a wife that her husband of more than
50 years had died of a massive myocardial infarction.
( A Type Of Heart Attack)

Not more than five minutes later, He heard her
reporting to the rest of the family that he had
died of a 'massive internal fart.'

 ::)  ::)  ::)

262
The Coffee Shop / GUYS GOING FISHING
« on: August 05, 2010, 04:33:46 pm »
Four married guys went fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place.

First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to get out fishing this
weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the
house next weekend."

Second guy: "That's nothing! I had to promise my wife that I would build
her a new deck for the pool."

Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I
would remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to fish. When they realized that the fourth guy has not
said a word, they asked him, "You haven't said anything about what you
had to do to get out fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"

Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm clock for 5:30 am. When it buzzed, I
shut it off, gave the wife a slap on her rump, and said, 'Fishing or
Sex?'"

She said, "Wear sun block."

 :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o

263
The Coffee Shop / Update on : News Flash on CNN
« on: July 29, 2010, 02:08:37 pm »
Detectives just found a pot. A lead to relief.  ::)  ::)  ::)

264
The Coffee Shop / News Flash over CNN
« on: July 28, 2010, 10:35:38 pm »
I am Mad,,,,,,,Did you hear that someone broke into the (Polk County Sheriffs Department) and (I am a resident) stole the toilet?




 ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???








Right now the cops have nothing to go on?


LMAO

265
The Coffee Shop / Update: Some One Slap Me....... (CCA)
« on: June 30, 2010, 11:03:23 am »
Well it is official. We (CCA & I) came to an agreement on the price so I will be making projects for the eleven Fall CCA Banquets. My work will be all over the State of Florida.

SOUTH WALTON Beach
PINELLAS County
DADE County
ORLANDO
GAINESVILLE
PASCO County
SARASOTA
SPACE COAST
PALM BEACH
JACKSONVILLE
PENSACOLA

This is really a great opportunity for me. I am really happy and ready to celebrate. Anyone want to join me.
  ;D  ;D  ;D

266
The Coffee Shop / Red, White and Blue
« on: June 25, 2010, 07:39:14 pm »
I posted this in another thread, but I wanted to post it here.  :)


RED.  We all have red blood. I don't care your skin color. You all will bleed red.
WHITE. It is in all of our eyes. I don't care your skin color, You all have white in your eyes.
BLUE. God put the blue sky above us all. We see it every day. Every Country can enjoy it.

Red, White and Blue. We all have it.

Some of us live in it.  (USA)

So what is so wrong with the Red , White and Blue.

I am Proud Of The Red, White and Blue.

So Take Your Damn Red Out.

Take Out The Damn White Too

Then Who Can Still Stand,

To  See, 

The  Blue.

  I     Love     Thee:              Red       White        Blue

God Bless Us

God Bless The USA

     

267
Brag Forum / CCA Red Fish
« on: June 14, 2010, 02:11:40 pm »
I make these for the CCA. We put them on the sponsors tables at the banquet as gifts. Got the idea from Steve's Kiss My Bass project/pattern.  8)

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268
The Coffee Shop / Some One Slap Me.......
« on: June 11, 2010, 04:22:55 pm »
,,,,,,,,and make sure I am awake. Just got some news that just was not expecting. For the last couple of years I have been donating some of my work to an organization that I am a member of, the CCA (Coastal Conservation Association). They have sold very good at our banquet auctions. I just received an e-mail from the Regional Director wanting to know if I can produce eleven projects for the fall banquets (Sept thru Oct) and wants to negotiate on a price.
WoW. Just when you think no one is paying attention to your hard work.
   :D  :D  :D Ok I am now doing the Happy Dance .  :D  :D  :D
Anyone want to join me.
 :P  :P  :P  :P  :P  :P
                 

269
The Coffee Shop / What is a 710?
« on: June 05, 2010, 12:18:06 pm »
A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten?' She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..' She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic ga ve her a piece o f paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?' She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.' If you're not sure what a 710 is >>>>>>
 :o  :o  :o

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270
Bulletins and News / Automatic Sensor
« on: June 03, 2010, 08:26:44 am »
Due to the public (family) nature of this forum there may be some words that need to be censored. As of now the Automatic Word Sensor is active. Any word on the list will Automatically be changed in a post. This will also effect other words that contain parts of Censored Words. Please do not let this discourage anyones posting and sorry if this is an inconvenience.  But it is necessary at this time.

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